Now, as I'm officially "grown up" (or at least I'm supposed to be) I still find that these same things hold my attention. I'm sucked into "what if" scenarios in my mind all the time. A line from an article or blog or a photograph can cause me to tailspin into another world. One of my own making.
Have you ever had a dream so big you though you'd explode unless it came true?
Sometimes I feel that way about writing. I know I don't need to be published to be a writer. Though the validation does sound appealing. To think that someone could find my writing intriguing enough to make a commitment to it. To endorse it. To believe in it like I already do...
And yet that's not what it's about, is it? It's not about validation, though I want that. It's not about credit or notoriety either, though I also seem to want that at times too.
It's about passion.
I am passionate about writing. Sometimes I doubt whether my writing is any good, but at the end of the day if I'm not writing because I love it, then I'm writing for the wrong reasons. That doesn't mean I don't want to learn and improve my craft, because I do. And I realize that improvement will be painful and almost unbearable at times, but it will be worth it.
The dreamer in me has plans. Oh so many plans and schemes and hopes. Things I think could happen and things that only God could bring about.
But for me...for now...it's enough to dream and see what He makes of it all. Because, in reality, I am only a small part of the whole. A piece in the puzzle.
And that is enough for me.